Q: Message help

Assuming you are both using the same AppleID, yes, you can add her iMessage address (es) to your you device (Settings app > Messages > Send and Receive. However, in this scenario, there is not way to prevent her from adding yours to her device if she knows how and chooses to do so.

No, you can only have iMessages active on one account at a time on your iPad.

I've never tried switching between two Apple IDs so I don't know how it would work with syncing messages received when you weren't logged into an account. Hopefully someone else will chime in.

I don't think that will get yo what you are looking for. Only messages sent while you are signed in to her ID would be delivered to your device. there is no intrinsic "history" maintained for messages.

There are a couple of threads around monitoring applications and services on the board (you might check the iPhone forum as well). I can't recommend any first hand, but you might find a solution there.

Using FaceTime http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4319

Troubleshooting FaceTime http://support.apple.com/kb/TS3367

The Complete Guide to FaceTime + iMessage: Setup, Use, and Troubleshooting

http://tinyurl.com/a7odey8

Troubleshooting FaceTime and iMessage activation

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS4268

iOS: FaceTime is 'Unable to verify email because it is in use'

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS3510

Using FaceTime and iMessage behind a firewall

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4245

iOS: About Messages

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT3529

Set up iMessage

http://www.apple.com/ca/ios/messages/

iOS and OS X: Link your phone number and Apple ID for use with FaceTime and iMessage

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5538

How to Set Up & Use iMessage on iPhone, iPad, & iPod touch with iOS

http://osxdaily.com/2011/10/18/set-up-imessage-on-iphone-ipad-ipod-touch-with-io s-5/

Set Up Alert Sounds

http://www.quepublishing.com/articles/article.aspx?p=1873027&seqNum=3

Extra FaceTime IDs

http://tinyurl.com/k683gr4

Troubleshooting Messages

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2755

Troubleshooting iMessage Issues: Some Useful Tips You Should Try

http://www.igeeksblog.com/troubleshooting-imessage-issues/

Setting Up Multiple iOS Devices for iMessage and Facetime

http://macmost.com/setting-up-multiple-ios-devices-for-messages-and-facetime.htm l

FaceTime and iMessage not accepting Apple ID password

http://www.ilounge.com/index.php/articles/comments/facetime-and-imessage-not-acc epting-apple-id-password/

Fix Can’t Sign Into FaceTime or iMessage iOS 7

http://ipadtutr.com/fix-login-facetime-imessage-ios-7/

FaceTime, Game Center, Messages: Troubleshooting sign in issues

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS3970

Unable to use FaceTime and iMessage with my apple ID

https://discussions.apple.com/thread/4649373?tstart=90

iOS 7 allows you to block phone numbers or e-mail addresses from contacting you via the Phone, FaceTime, or Messages

http://howto.cnet.com/8301-11310_39-57602643-285/you-can-block-people-from-conta cting-you-on-ios-7/

How to Block Someone on FaceTime

http://www.ehow.com/how_10033185_block-someone-facetime.html

My Facetime Doesn't Ring

https://discussions.apple.com/message/19087457#19087457

How to watch FaceTime calls on the big screen with Apple TV

http://www.imore.com/daily-tip-ios-5-airplay-mirroring-facetime

Send an iMessage as a Text Message Instead with a Quick Tap & Hold

http://osxdaily.com/2012/11/18/send-imessage-as-text-message/

To send messages to non-Apple devices, check out the TextFree app https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/text-free-textfree-sms-real/id399355755?mt=8

How to Send SMS from iPad

http://www.iskysoft.com/apple-ipad/send-sms-from-ipad.html

How to Receive SMS Messages on an iPad

http://yourbusiness.azcentral.com/receive-sms-messages-ipad-16776.html

Apps for Texting http://appadvice.com/appguides/show/apps-for-texting

You can check the status of the FaceTime/iMessage servers at this link.

http://www.apple.com/support/systemstatus/

 Cheers, Tom