What is the difference between the passcode on my iPhone 5 and a password? I am locked out of my phone.

Not entirely sure what you are asking, but a passcode to unlock an iOS device is normally 4 digits long (so is a 4 digit code), though you can make it alphanumeric and longer (so effectively becomes a password).

If you don't know the passcode to unlock your phone or it's showing the disabled screen then there are instructions on this page for how to reset a device : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1212 - you should then be able to restore/resync your content to it.