how do I get my photos not to move every photo over to my phone. I have separate folders, but for some reason the icloud moves everyone over. like over 1400. I only probably want like 400 of them on my phone at all times.

To prevent photos that are added to iPhoto from automatically being added to your photo stream, go to iPhoto>Preferences>iCloud and uncheck Automatic Upload:

This article explains how to manually upload photos to photo stream from iPhoto: http://support.apple.com/kb/PH2711.

Your photo stream photos will still go to your Mac, and will appear in iPhoto. Furthermore, checking Automatic Import as shown in the image above will automatically add them to your iPhoto library so they aren't deleted.

Unchecking Automatic Upload will stop iPhoto from automatically adding photos in your library to photo stream

The other thing you should check is the Photos tab of your iTunes sync settings. Connect your phone to your computer and open iTunes. Then click on the name of your phone in iTunes and click on the Photos tab. Here, make sure you haven't checked "Sync Photos from iPhoto" and selected "All photos, albums, Events, and Faces" as shown in this image (click on the image to see a larger version):

If you have, you are syncing all your iPhoto photos to your phone when you sync with iTunes. If you've done this, you can uncheck "Sync Photos from iPhoto" and sync again and they will be removed from your phone.

You're welcome.