There are two ways to keep others from using or resetting a device. The first is a passcode lock. This is a four digit number that must be used to use an iPad. If this is what the ex boyfriend put on the iPad you can get around it by connecting the iPad to your computer and restoring the software on it.
But it sounds like your daughter is running into the Activation Lock. This is a security feature that prevents thieves from setting up and using a stolen or lost iPad or iPhone. You have no alternative. No must contact the ex boyfriend to get the password. If you cannot get the password from the ex boyfriend I'm afraid you will never be able to activate the device and no one can help you do it.