Q: I am unable to permanently delete mail now since this new update...suggestions?  Help?  I'm so lost!  Thank you!

You haven't provided any details, like what sort of mail account you are using, or what happens when you try to delete email, but I did find this link in the "More Like This" tab associated with your question, that may be of help:

https://discussions.apple.com/message/16058577#16058577

Ivan