It sounds like your phone and iPad are not syncing to ituens with Wi-Fi even though you have enabled it on each device. I recommend the following troubleshooting to help you troubleshoot the issue:
Restart your home network router using the manufacturer's instructions. You may need to disconnect the power cord for 30 seconds or more.
Note: During this time, Internet services, such as a VoIP-based phone, won't work, and you may need to reset additional network devices.
- Make sure that your Wi-Fi network has an active Internet connection.
- Make sure that you connect your iOS devices and computer to the same network over Wi-Fi.
- Check for network configuration changes that may interfere with syncing:
- VPN configurations
- Extending the Wi-Fi network through multiple wireless access points or routers
- Guest networks or other security configurations that limit access between devices
- Routers that configure different networks for different frequencies such as 2.4 GHz and 5.0 GHz
- Connecting the computer over Ethernet
- Wake up your computer and open iTunes. If your computer is asleep or iTunes isn't open, the device may not sync.
- Update your router. If you're using an AirPort or AirPort Time Capsule, you can learn more about firmware updates. If you're using a router from another manufacturer, contact the manufacturer to ask about available updates.
If you see performance issues when you sync over Wi-Fi, something may be causing wireless interference:
- Microwave ovens
- Cordless phones
- Physical barriers, such as metal walls or distance between your computer, base station, and iOS device
- Move your iOS device and computer closer to the Wi-Fi router or base station.
- Check for sources of potential interference.
- Remove your iOS device from any case, stand, or attachment.
- Open Safari and try to load a webpage.
If you enabled a firewall on your router or computer, make sure that your computer and iOS device can communicate.
- Follow these steps to use the built-in firewall option with iTunes on your Mac.
- For third-party firewalls and security software, see the developer or manufacturer for assistance.
Mac computers use port 123 to set the date and time automatically. Incorrect date and time on a computer or iOS device can cause connection issues. If you don't know if your router has a firewall or if the required ports are open, follow these steps:
- Enable Wi-Fi syncing for additional iOS devices on your network to see if they have the same issue. (See theprevious steps to enable Wi-Fi syncing for additional devices.)
- Test your device on a different network. If the device works on another network, the issue may be your router or network configuration. Contact your router manufacturer or Internet service provider for additional troubleshooting.
If you use another security or firewall software on your computer or router, you can troubleshoot security software issues, contact the manufacturer, or check the documentation to learn how to open TCP ports 123 and 3689 as well as UDP ports 123 and 5353.
From: iTunes 10.5 and later: Troubleshooting iTunes Wi-Fi syncing
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Sorry, but I really need a little more help here.
In my log, I showed that I can PING the iPhone from the laptop (so I have network connectivity). I had also said that I DISABLED the firewall on the router.
The windows box is win8 64 but I have tried other machines which yield the sane result.
Yesterday I happened to glance at iTunes and I saw my phone connected and syncd but when I clicked on the device in iTunes I got a disconnected message.
So I have a network route to the iPhone and there are no firewalls running on either router or on local computer.
Thank you for using the Apple Support Community. Due to the nature of your question you may find more information by using another one of Apple's support resources - https://getsupport.apple.com/GetproductgroupList.action.