Q: can i download icloud onto a surface tablet? if so how, it just keeps telling me "this app can not run on your pc"

If the OS of your tablet is telling you "this app cannot run on your pc" then it obviously can't.

If you want what iCloud has to offer you're going to need an AppleID (free) and ideally Apple hardware. If that's beyond your budget you will need a bona-fide PC (laptop or desktop) rather than the android tablet you're using because as you're finding out, all of its features won't work on it.

If you do have a PC (or have access to one) simply download and install iTunes (the application is free from Apple's website) as everything you need for iCloud will also be installed at the same time.

If you do have an AppleID you can access iCloud using the web browser on your tablet although it's difficult to see what practical use it will be to you if all you have is a tablet?

Now what's your XServe and Server question?