Hello radicalmosaic,
It sounds like you may have VoiceOver turned on. I found a few different ways you can turn this off.
I recommend trying the following first:
Press the home button three times quickly. This is also called "Triple-click Home".
If the VoiceOver feature still is on, you can navigate to Settings > General > Accessibility and turn VoiceOver off here.
If it is too difficult to access those settings on your iPhone, you can turn VoiceOver off using iTunes:
- Connect your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch to any computer with iTunes installed.
- In iTunes, select your device.
- From the Summary pane, click Configure Universal Access in the Options section at the bottom.
- Select the feature you would like to use and click OK.
You can find the full article here:
iOS: Configuring accessibility features
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5018
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
Best,
Sheila M.