Hi Doconapple,
Welcome to the Support Communities!
Sorry to hear you are having some frustrations getting your Apple ID account set up for your new iPhone. I'm going to include some information below on how to update your Apple ID. I'm also including a link to our Apple ID Security team, who can help you with this and link the serial number of your device to the correct Apple ID.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5622
Apple ID: Changing your Apple ID
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5621
- Go to My Apple ID (appleid.apple.com), click "Manage your Apple ID", and sign in.
- In the "Apple ID and Primary Email Address section," click Edit.
- Enter the email address you want to use, then click Save Changes. Apple will send a verification email to that address.
- Open the email from Apple, then click Verify Now in the email.
- When the My Apple ID page opens, sign in with your renamed Apple ID.
After you see a message indicating that verification is complete, remember to update all of the stores and services that you use with your Apple ID.
Apple ID: Contacting Apple for help with Apple ID account security
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5699
I hope this information helps ....
- Judy