The reset link will show the rescue email address that you have on your iTunes account - it can't be the same as your primary email address (not alternate email addresses), so it will be different.
You won't be able to change the address until you can answer your questions, you will need to contact Support in your country to get the questions reset.
Contacting Apple about account security : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5699
When they've been reset you can then use the steps on this page to change your rescue email address for potential future use : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5620
Or, if it's available in your country, you could change to 2-step verification : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5570