Hey there Toni,
It sounds like you are needing to unlock this iPad but the passcode is unknown. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. According to the following article you should use recovery mode to restore the iPad and be able to use it. The caveat to this is that it will delete all the data on the iPad.
iOS: Forgot passcode or device disabled
http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1212
Use recovery mode
Follow these steps if you never synced your device with iTunes, if you don't have Find My iPhone set up, or if you can't get to your own computer. You'll need to put your device in recovery mode, which will erase the device and its passcode. Then you'll restore your device as new or from a backup.
Disconnect all cables from your device.
Turn off your device.
Press and hold the Home button. While holding the Home button, connect your device to iTunes. If your device doesn't turn on automatically, turn it on.
Continue holding the Home button until you see the Connect to iTunes screen.
iTunes will alert you that it has detected a device in recovery mode.
Click OK, then restore the device.
Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
Cheers,
Sterling