Q: My airplay would not appear on my phone !?

On IOS 7, swipe up on Home Screen to reveal Control Center, there you have AirPlay if you are connect to the same Wi-Fi network.

What iPhone and IOS do you have?

read this:

iOS: Use AirPlay to wirelessly stream content

Just some things to confirm/ try:

Make sure that one device is not on a "guest network" if your router provides that.

Reset your router, and make sure its firmware is up to date.

If possible, for diagnostic purposes try connecting the ATV to the router via Ethernet if you're currently connecting via Wi-Fi.

Although Home Sharing and AirPlay are two different things, turn Home Sharing on on your iPhone and ATV.  If it is on, turn it off and then back on.  Not sure why that helped me once upon a time, but it did.

Do you have the Remote app on your iPhone? (you'll want it)  Does Remote see the ATV? (Home Sharing needs to be ON)

Reset your iPhone.  If that doesn't help, Reset Network Settings or go all out and Restore the iPhone from a fresh backup.