Ok, after my tinkering, I think I have it. I happen to have two hotspots and got to see another bug in contrast with iOS when testing...
First, if you don't see "Personal Hotspots" in your Mac's Wifi menu...
0) make sure you have an iPhone or iPad, a tethering capable active data plan, and the iOS device is powered On and within 40 ft of your Mac.
1) turn Personal Hotspot to On on either your iPhone or iPad (iOS Device)
2) make sure that both Mac and iPad are using the same primary iCloud account
3) make sure that both Wifi and Bluetooth are on on both iOS device and Mac
4) make sure you are not paired. If the Mac is paired to the iOS device, delete the paring. (remember I have two devices to test with...)
Now, do you have a "Personal Hotspot" menu on your Mac? No? Not finished yet then...
5) Log out of your iCloud account via the System Preferences -> iCloud on your Mac and tell it to delete the associated data (it is in the cloud after all)
6) re-login to your iCloud account via the System Preferences -> iCloud
I bet you have "Personal Hotspots" in your wifi now on your mac... if so go to 10, but if not...
7) make sure your iOS device is not paired to your Mac. This will make the personal hotspot feature fail because it overrides the Personal Hotspot connection feature thus relegating you to using that bluetooth tethering to make your network connection.
Got "Personal Hotspots" in your wifi now on your mac? If so, go to 10. If not, ok, then...
8) log out of your iCloud account on your iOS device from under the Settings > iCloud. Let it delete all the iCloud data. It might take a week (really slow) but do it anyway
9) log back into your iCloud account on your iOS device from under the Settings > iCloud. (it will bring the iCloud data back, no data duplication!!)
I bet you have a "Personal Hotspots" in your wifi now on your mac.. Yes? Ok, not finished yet though...
10) reboot your iOS device
Now try and connect via your "Personal Hotspots" items on your Mac. It should work.
I found that one of my devices (the iPhone ) kicked right in on after step 6 but the other one did not (the iPad ). I had to log out and delete all my iCloud data from the iPad and then re-login to get it to come back. See below as both now are G2G.
If you don't use the Personal Hotspot for a while on your iOS device, it will go into something of a sleep mode. You can turn it back on by selecting it from your Mac. If you manually turn off the hotspot on your iOS device, it is really "off" it seems and stays off until you manually turn it back on
This took me a couple of hours to nail down and document when I should have been working on my iOS app for Veterans healthcare. These sorts of problems not only inconvenience us, Apple's customers and developers, but they impact others due to the cascade effect of wasting our time with things that should have been caught by Apple Q/A. Sometimes those "others" who are impacted are really important people . Not a rant, just reality.