ok so I have solved my problem.
The issue is with the user Library. I opened a new user and ran my exchange mail on mail. NO problem!
so the make sure, I backed up everything ( most of my work is on dropbox anyway ) and then went about going through the process of formatted my Mac HD drive, doing all the resets and then a fresh install of Yosemite as a new machine.
I ran exchange mail for ½ a day as a test. ran perfectly. everything on the machine is so fast, and my machine is 5 yrs old. I have now loaded everything back, still no problems, and then 10.10.1 came out. Updated that and still everything is working fine.
so the problem was in user library, prob something corrupted, wasn't hardware thankfully, but to look and find that part of the library that was a the problem would of taken ages.
so if you have a day, start again, with your apple ID everything gets back to how you had it.