temporary solution: iOS 8.1 wifi itunes sync and backup
Problem: you upgrade to iOS 8.1 and your phone works on your wifi but iTunes can't find your phone.
Solution: restart your phone.
When does this problem occur: This problem frequently occurs when connecting to multiple wireless routers (like work and home).
This is what did not work to fix the problem:
-Restarting itunes on your computer (or restarting your computer for that matter)
-Restarting your router
-Renewing the wifi lease on your phone
-Removing and re-adding your wireless router on your phone
I reported this to apple and I encourage all of you to do so as well. The issue is likely with iOS 8 and not iTunes itself, but I'm not 100% positive, so it would be helpful for apple to collect data on this problem with folks using various phones and versions of iTunes and computer operating systems.