You are thinking of the GNU cp command commonly found in Linux distributions (cp on other Unix platforms does not have a -u option, such as Solaris, AIX, Mac OS X, etc...).
However, if you really want cp -u, you can get the GNU sources and build your own cp command, although I strongly suggest NOT replacing the Mac OS X cp command, but rather put your version in a different directory and include that directory in your PATH before /bin
As Tony T1 suggests you can get the copy only newer files via rsync, or use a utility such as Carbon Copy Cloner that uses rsync under the GUI to do its transfer work (CCC can be configured to just copy select files and folders, besides its more common disk cloning services).