Is there a way to allow only selected 17+ apps

In restrictions its an all our nothing kind of thing with the "17+" age restrictions. If you set up family share, you can set it so she has to send you a request to download apps. That would give you app by app censorship abilities.

Via restrictions? No. Jjust don't give here the password to the iTunes account. Only allow her to download apps while she's being supervised.

You set it up through iCloud. In fact, it should say "Set up Family Share" and then you invite up to five family members. It also allows you to share purchases between family members so you don't have to buy the app more than once.

Your daughter would need her own Apple ID for iCloud and iTunes in her phone for it to work.

An article on seeing it up: Start or join a family group using Family Sharing - Apple Support