Syncing with two different computers

The .xml file is regenerated from the .itl file each time iTunes runs. It can generally be ignored.

If you want to sync your device you must arrange for the same content to be in each copy of the library. This is what I do with the aid of sync toy.

If you are prepared to manually manage the library with each computer then pick one as the primary and copy its .itl file to the other. Place the one that is already there into the Previous iTunes Libraries folder. When you start iTunes many of the entries will be broken since the corresponding files are not on this computer. The easiest solution is to select everything in Music, delete it, don't send any files to the recycle bin if prompted, then repeat with the other media sources, Movies, TV Shows etc. Once you have cleaned out everything use File > Add Folder to Library to import the contents of the media folder on this machine. You will now be able to manually add content from either computer.

tt2

Sync iPod/iPad/iPhone with two computers

It isn't possible to sync an Apple device with two different libraries, however it is possible to sync with the same logical library from multiple computers. Each library has an internal ID and when iTunes connects to your iPod/iPad/iPhone it compares the local ID with the one the device normally syncs with. If they are the same you can go ahead and sync, otherwise iTunes will want to erase the content and reload. Manual management isn't an option with an iPhone since it still wants you to use a single library, and that won't sync plays.

I have my library cloned to a small 1Tb USB drive which I can take between home & work. At either location I use SyncToy 2.1 to update the local copy with the external drive. Mac users should be able to find similar tools. I can open either of the local libraries or the one on the external drive and update the media content of my iPhone. The slight exception is Photos which normally connects to a specific folder on a specific machine, although that can easily be remapped to the current library if you create a "Photos" folder inside the iTunes Media folder so that syncing the iTunes folders keeps this up to date as well. I periodically sweep my library for new files & orphans with iTunes Folder Watch just in case I make changes at one location but then overwrite the library with a newer copy from the other. Again Mac users should be able to find similar tools.

As long as your media is organised within an iTunes Music or Tunes Media folder, in turn held inside the main iTunes folder that has your library files (whether or not you let iTunes keep the media folder organised) each library can access items at the same relative path from the library folder so the library can be at different drives/paths on different machines. This solution ensures I always have adequate backups of my library and I can update my devices whenever I can connect to the same build of iTunes. See Make a split library portable for more information.

When working with an iPhone earlier builds of iTunes would remove any file not physically present in the local library, even if there was an entry for it, making manual management practically redundant on the iPhone. This behaviour has been changed slightly but it will still only permit manual management with a library that has the correct internal ID. If you don't want to sync your library between machines on a regular basis just copy the iTunes Library.itl file from the current "home" machine to any other you want to use, then clean out the library entries and import the local content you have on that box. However you lose the other benefits of syncing, plus existing records of date added, ratings, play counts, play lists, etc.

tt2