iphone crashed lost music and now computer won't recognize it

Hello everyone!
So I was updating my iphone 5 (iOS 8 for sure, i think 8.1) and was adding some music when i thought i might not have enough space on my iphone. So on my iphone I deleted music and a few movies FROM the iphone, not in iTunes. My music app froze and then crashed. When i went back into the app all my music was gone except my 120 odd songs I actually purchased from iTunes. This has happened to me before and the fix was just to leave the iphone plugged into my computer and all the music would return in 20 odd minutes or so. Well after this crash my computer wouldnt recognize my iphone... some of my music came back but not even close to all (went from 5000 songs to right around 1200). Ive tried all the fixes ive read about. Restarting iphone and computer, re-installing itunes, tried a different cord, and a just about every fix possible using the device manager (i use windows 8.1). Something interesting about after it crashed was that the syncing arrows that spin around in a circle in the top left of the phone while syncing is taking place were spinning for like 12 hours after being unplugged from my computer... weird stuff. The only time I can even get my computer to recognize my iphone is even plugged in and is trying to connect is when I leave it plugged in and do a hard reset (holding down home and screen lock button) and then it recognizes it for like 10 seconds - says error code 43 and then will never reappear until I do another hard reset. I really dont know whats going on and as far as I can tell, im the first to have this type of problem, hopefully not but really appreciate any help you guys can give.