my phone rings when someone calls my kids on their phone. it rings to my phone too. This started happening after I updated. We are all on the same iTunes account. How do i fix it to where we all don't get each others calls?

Sounds like Continuity! Go to Settings > FaceTime > Turn off iPhone Cellular Calls. ^-^

Basically since your sharing accounts it links all the devices together. I would advise you to not share iCloud Accounts with family members to prevent further issues like accidentally merging all your data together. :\ You can share the same iTunes Account though that way you can keep sharing purchases! But no to iCloud.. haha ^-^

Article Used:

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204681