good news!
was reading some info on a similar iphone / iCloud sync problem and temporarily "cured" my stuck photo issue.
since I had a pretty good idea which photo was the problem photo, i moved it from my photos app on my MBP to my desktop so i can keep a copy. Then I deleted the problem photo from the MPB photos app. I also deleted it from my iphone photos app. I restarted both devices and held my breath, but no changes. the iphone still had several photos more than the MBP.
a few days and several photos taken on my iphone, the problem remained. iCloud sync stuck, showing now 20 or so photos waiting to upload.
another thread discussing similar stuck uploads mentioned delving deeper into the photos app on the iPhone, into the "albums" into the "recently deleted" folder. Sure enough, my problem photo was still hanging out on the iPhone after all. So i selected it for deletion and "really" deleted it again.
i rolled back over to the photos folder of the photos app on the iphone just in time to see it report that it was uploading the rest of the stuck queue. I just confirmed the arrival of the queue of previously stuck photos on my MBP. both devices are in sync.
so if you know the problem photo it seems you can clear the problem and get syncing going again. but what is causing the jam in the first place?