thank you for the link, but unfortunately, none of the suggestions worked. I did find that after the update yesterday, I found another folder called iTunes 1, and the contents were just like the iTunes folder. I deleted it (probably wrong) and now I get the message when I shift+click "no recent search matches iTunes Library found". Then when I click OK on that warning, the next warning says "an error occurred while connecting to the to the shared library "%S". The server could not be found or is not responding" (and yes the repeat on "to the" was in the message), It also gave me the option to "download" or "upgrade" and when I click either of them, a popup says the iTunes update serer could not be contacted. I have internet connection because I'm on here as I am trying all of this again.
SO - I've copied all of my media, previous libraries and such to a stick. can I uninstall and reinstall iTunes and somehow get my stuff back in it? where do I go from here?