Thank you for taking the time to write this in-depth answer!
I know that I can configure my color profile, and I already did that for hours, trying to get it to match the (good) screen of my MacBook Pro. However, the best I could do was turn the screen from an ugly yellow tint to an ugly blue tint.
When I showed the genius in store my (non-retina) MacBook Pro that looked fine, he immediately said I'm just not used to Retina screens, and that the higher pixel density makes the screen look yellow. I think I know enough about technology to identify this statement as nonsense. So he is either not the sharpest tool in the box, or outright lied to me.
He proceeded to get the manager, and the manager said he can't see anything wrong with my MacBook, and that they would exchange it one last time. Of course the new MacBook had a yellow screen again (like every MacBook in that store), and the geniuses generally treated me like I was crazy. They even tried to make me feel guilty by saying that they "can't sell the MacBooks I return, and would have to throw them away", that I would be responsible for all the trash and that they would make a note to my file to not exchange my MacBook again. I don't want a new MacBook, I just want my screen fixed. I don't care how.
It was the worst customer service experience I ever had.
I have an iPhone 5C with the same yellow tint as my MacBook. Other iPhones of the same model look perfectly fine when you directly compare them. So I assume this is a general problem with the retina screen hardware and can be fixed by getting good hardware. Am I jumping to conclusions here? If I'm right, this is an incredibly widespread hardware issue (As I said, all the MacBooks on display in the store looked yellow).
I called the Apple telephone support, send them pictures, and they immediately said my MacBook doesn't look right.
I'm kind of helpless here. I will never enter that particular Apple Store ever again, just to be treated like trash. How do I proceed from here? Is this just how Retina screens look nowadays? I find that hard to believe.
