Just follow the steps in the AirPort Extreme Setup Guide and the configuration "wizard" will take care of the rest automatically......no step by step guide needed at all.
We assume the following:
1) The "main AirPort Extreme in the basement is set up and working correctly
2) The living room AirPort Extreme has been reset back to factory default settings.....or....it is new and has not been set up yet
3) The Ethernet cable connects from a LAN <---> port on the basement AirPort to the WAN "O" port on the living room AirPort
4) The living room AirPort is powered up and has been on for a few minutes
On your Mac.....click the WiFi icon at the top of the screen and look for a listing of New AirPort Base Station. Just below that listing, click directly on AirPort Extreme.

When you click on AirPort Extreme, that will get the setup wizard running. It will take a minute to display a screen similar to this and tell you that the upstairs AirPort will be configured to extend the basement AirPort.
Enter a device name that you want to call the upstairs AirPort and click Next.

Watch the next screen carefully to confirm that the upstairs AirPort is being configured to extend using Ethernet, which confirms that the wizard has correctly detected the Ethernet connection between the AirPorts and will set up the upstairs AirPort accordingly.

When you see the message of Setup Complete, click Done. And, you are done. You now have what is known as a "roaming" network.
The bottom line here in the setup process is that all that you really need to do is select the upstairs AirPort from the WiFi drop down, follow a few prompts and enter a device name for the AirPort. Everything else happens automatically.