Hello randi2015,
Thanks for using Apple Support Communities.
If I understand your post correctly, your iPhone is displaying that it is disabled and needs to be connected to iTunes. Does the display look like this?
If so, then that indicates your iPhone is in recovery mode and will have to be plugged into a computer with iTunes installed in order to restore it. If that's not the case, then you might be able to erase your device by using Find My iPhone:
If you enabled Find My iPhone through iCloud, you can use it to erase your device.
- Go to icloud.com/find.
- If prompted, sign in with your Apple ID.
- Click All Devices at the top of your browser window.
- Select the device you want to erase.
- Click Erase [device] to erase your device and its passcode.
- Now you can either restore from a backup or set up as new.
If you forgot the passcode for your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, or your device is disabled - Apple Support
Have a good one.