Thank you @anypats, unfortunately I'm still out of luck. That solution seems to assume the user has connected their iPad to iTunes. I never have, it's just a standalone device.
In this case, when I connect the iPad to the MacBook and launch iTunes, there's an alert "To allow access, please respond on your iPad..."
Go through the steps above:
-Swipe 'slide to setup'
-Enter password
-Watch update complete installation
-Get to 'Hello' screen
-Enter password again
-Get to 'Update Completed' page
At this point, there's an iTunes popup "Trust This Computer?" The only option that allows you to continue is "Trust" -- select that
Press Continue on the 'Update Completed' page
Result: The "slide to upgrade" swipe on iPad 2 is unresponsive, and the "To allow access, please respond on your iPad..." popup remains up on the MacBook.
Hard to believe Apple did not anticipate this test case!! So, what, I have a paperweight now?