having searched long and hard and not getting anywhere I finally found a way to sync my iPhone to iTunes on windows 10
I decided to look up why iTunes wasn't connecting to the internet. my computer was connected but was not in iTunes.. so I found this old disccusion
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204550
so I followed that and deleted some things and everything started working..
now iTunes connects to internet and syncs my iPhone.. now I backed it up and got new music..
just a reminder it not the fastest sync and its best to use a apple usb cord than a after market.. I tried both cords.
yay!
iPhone 6 Plus, win 10 and ios9 beta