Q: how can i get my restriction passcode

You can't 'reset' it. If you can't remember it, you will have to put the phone into recovery mode and restore it as a new device. Do NOT restore your backup. The restriction settings are contained in the backup.

The only way to reset the Restrictions passcode is to restore the device as new, deleting all content. You cannot use a backup, since the passcode is part of the backup.

What other troubleshooting have you tried to find the apps? These are native apps, and as such cannot be deleted. Try a reset on the device, Restart your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support or you can do a Spotlight search to see if they are still on your device. They could have accidently been moved to a folder. If they are in a folder, that folder name would appear next to the information in the Spotlight search. One other way to restore them is to go to Settings>General>Reset>Reset Home Screen Layout.

Unfortunately, you are mostly screwed. The only way to get rid of the pesky restriction passcode is by wiping the device and setting up as new. Restoring from a backup doesn't help since the backup carries the passcode and reasserts the restriction. See here for more info: About Restrictions (parental controls) on iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support

The apps you won't lose but will need to be downloaded again from the Purchases section of the App Store. Settings, scores and the like are another matter.