Is it really true that there is NO WAY to upgrade the OS to anything less than iOS 9?

My 5th generation iPod touch is still an excellent device that works very well. It isn't aging at all. It's great. It's running iOS 6.something.

Is it really true that there is literally NO WAY to upgrade to any version of iOS less than 9? I really, really, really want iOS 7.1.2, in order to be able to run a handful of apps that do not exist in earlier versions. The files still exist. I can still download them. My device still exists. EVERYTHING THAT IS NECESSARY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN STILL EXISTS, except that Apple won't "sign" it, which seems like a ridiculously trivial obstacle considering that I can still install Windows XP on my laptop from my old recovery discs (not that I'd want to).

Is there some other way to do this? Or, if there really isn't, why are people not REALLY REALLY ANGRY about it?