lost my apple tv remote what options do i have

As an alternative to the supplied remote, you can have the Apple TV learn a remote or use the 'Remote' app on an iOS device or configure a bluetooth keyboard, however in all cases you will need the supplied remote to set these up, so if you don't already have any of these options up and running you will need to purchase another remote from the Apple Store.

You can pair Apple TV with CiderTV app for mac without remote.But you need to reset AppleTV via iTunes app.

With osx app you can control Apple TV via bluetooth.

After that you can pair Remote app or CiderTV for ios

I have also been successful programming my Logitech Harmony remotes to AppleTV.