.login is for the C-Shell (csh or tcsh) which is one flavor of command line interface.
.bashrc is for the Bash shell (the current default OS X shell), and is another flavor of command line interface. However, when you first start a Terminal session, .bashrc is not run, but rather bash looks for .bash_profile, .bash_login, .profile and uses the first one of those its finds in the order I just listed, and does not bother with any of the others.
The command
should show which shell you are using
Once you know what shell you are using, you can then choose to modify or create the necessary file to store the alias.
Also the syntax for the alias command is different for csh/tcsh vs bash, so it is important to know what shell for that reason.
csh/tcsh
alias rm 'rm -i'
bash (as shown by VikingOSX)
alias rm='rm -i'
With respect to rm default behavior. While it is not defaulting to -f, its default is very close to -f. The -f option will not complain if you ask to delete a file that does not exist. -f will not complain if the file is marked readonly, as long as you have permission to remove the file name from the directory. But otherwise, from your perspective, the rm default does look very much like -f, since * only provides files that exist, and it is unlikely you will have files that have readonly permissions.
By the way, I have been using the "alias rm='rm -i'" for about 30 years. And I learned the hard way, just like you 🙂