Q: Serious Phone Security Concerns from Spyware

one can't connect to an ios device over a network using an appleID and password

No, there is no way for anyone to remotely install spyware onto your iphone if running native iOS. That would require someone having direct physical possession of the device.  However, if someone has your AppleID password, then your Apple accounts can be compromised which has nothing at all to do with your device.

You should change your App,end password immediately at https://appleid.apple.com/

There is no spyware/malware affecting iPhones.

Why do you think that there is?

Spy is an app that you would have to install on your device. I don't believe that you can install it unless your iPhone is jailbroken.

No connected device will ever be 100% secure and no one claims that (I don't believe that ios has ever truly been hacked).  But having an iPhone is the best you can do to protect yourself.  Also you should be using 2-step verificatoon if you are worried about it.

Frequently asked questions about two-step verification for Apple ID - Apple Support