How can I monitor my son's SMS messages without him knowing I have ipone 4S he had 5S both on same account

How can I monitor my son's SMS messages on his Iphone 5S from my Iphone 4S? He won't tell me his Apple ID.but both phones are on the one account so I can at least monitor his activity and both phones are in my name for billing purposes. I need to monitor both incoming and outgoing messages without him knowing

iPhone 4S, iOS 9

Posted on Nov 27, 2015 3:18 PM

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15 replies

Nov 27, 2015 3:35 PM in response to stokespoint

You cannot if he has his own AppleID and uses that for iMessaging and won't tell you his password. That effectively gives him his own password protected and private iMessage account.


SMS has nothing to do with Apple and is through your carrier and tied to the phone number. If you share the same iCloud account (I.e. use the same AppleID for iCloud) that has nothing to do with messaging. Apple's iMessage system uses its own accounts tied to an AppleID that are independent of iCloud accounts.

Nov 27, 2015 4:06 PM in response to stokespoint

Your carrier may be able to provide you with some controls over SMS messaging. However, it's not going to include the ability to view the messages themselves. And, unless you're able to put restrictions on your son's phone to prevent him from downloading apps, he can also install messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Line, FaceBook Messenger on the phone.


If you're paying for the phone, if you have proof of original ownership, you can take the phone to Apple and have them remove the Apple ID. I suspect it will result in the loss of all the data on the phone. Perhaps if you explain that to your son, he'll decide he wants to give you the information. You might also tell him that, if he fails to obey the rules you set, you will have the phone turned off.

Nov 27, 2015 4:35 PM in response to stokespoint

Just ask for his assistance and look through his texts.


I don't think you'd want to monitor them without him knowing unless you reaaaaaaaaaaally don't respect / trust your son. How could you explain that you know about anything without disclosing that you'd been monitoring his texts? He would be bound to find out at one point or another unless your kid is like five or something.

Nov 27, 2015 6:22 PM in response to dklubu

My need to check his messages is to uncover what is going on with him as he wont communicate and wont give me his phone or Apple ID. The fact that the phone is in my name and I pay the bus doesn't seem to wash with Optus, the carrier as they are restricted by privacy laws. Professional monitoring software requires installation into his phone which is not possible. If I found out what is happening he will of course know I got the info from somewhere but at least I then know the nature of his problem as I suspect at 14 he is in a great deal of trouble

Nov 28, 2015 4:50 AM in response to stokespoint

stokespoint wrote:


Stop paying is not going to tell me what is going on unfortunately. I want to keep it going for the information. I'm sure there is a technical aspect to this that is not common knowledge that some geek will know about.

You're talking to one of the largest assemblies of iPhone geeks in the world. If you have cause and you have an attorney, they can probably submit a subpoena (or the local equivalent) to your carrier for the information. You would need to submit similar paperwork to any other messaging service he was using, assuming you can figure out what he's using. However, there is no software you can install on an iPhone without physical access, voiding the warranty and probably breaking laws that will do what you want. And we can't help you do that.

Nov 28, 2015 4:48 PM in response to IdrisSeabright

Thanks Meg, I went down that track and found that the carrier holds the records which are only accessible to the police due to privacy considerations which poses the debate about privacy versus safety. I am a lot clearer of the situation now thanks to advice on this site and I acknowledge the extensive pool of knowledge available to me on this site. Coincidentally I met someone socially who works in IT security and he provided the answers I was looking for so problem solved. I found it very enlightening to learn the spectrum of coded messages an Iphone puts out way beyond actual messages.

Nov 28, 2015 6:41 PM in response to deggie

Why is it that the internet spawns doubts about the veracity of normal conversations. All that I have said is true. I have no reason to diverge from that as I am simply seeking advice. The guy I mentioned is well qualified, and expert in his field as his employer who I know confirmed. So armed with that and as only a lay person myself I accept his expertise. So whether you think he has integrity or not I await the results but the little I have seen looks good

Nov 28, 2015 6:43 PM in response to stokespoint

stokespoint wrote:


Why is it that the internet spawns doubts about the veracity of normal conversations. All that I have said is true. I have no reason to diverge from that as I am simply seeking advice. The guy I mentioned is well qualified, and expert in his field as his employer who I know confirmed. So armed with that and as only a lay person myself I accept his expertise. So whether you think he has integrity or not I await the results but the little I have seen looks good

If he can do what you describe the FBI and CIA need his help. They have been complaining that they cannot get access to an iPhone's content, and they want laws to prevent Apple and other companies from making their devices so secure.

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How can I monitor my son's SMS messages without him knowing I have ipone 4S he had 5S both on same account

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