How do I make certain the notices on my and my wife's iCal calendars are shared?

How do I make certain the notices on my and my wife's iCal calendars are shared?

Our calendars were properly synced, but we were receiving birthday notices that we did not want from a Google calendar. I was able to eliminate those birthday notices, but now the notifications on both my ICal calendar and my wife's ICal calendar are not shared/synced. Can you help me with this issue? Thank you! Richard