Q: mac osx messages server offline

I am running Yosemite server behind a AirPort Extreme as a router/firewall (correct ports are open). I have FQDN setup. I have checked forward and reverse lookups and everything works (we are running VPN services with no problem).

• The message server is set to require server to server secure federation and I am using the self signed cert from OS X server.
• It is restricted to server.mydomainname.com (which is FQDN)
• The DNS on the machine is the the mac OS X server address and googles DNS servers.

The issue is when I have users setup jabber accounts to use the message server the account sets up no problem and we can message. The issue is the buddy list I created does not show up automatically and the users are still showing "offline" even though they can message.