How can I see my entire family on FIND MY PHONE and share ITUNES but not have all our messages combined?

Hi bfweldon,

Thank you for contributing to the Apple Support Communities.

It sounds like you might be sharing an Apple ID (iCloud & iTunes Store account) with family members, and receiving each others messages.

If this is true, then a good alternative is to Set up Family Sharing.

Please let us know the details of the situation if it's different and we may be able to offer other suggestions.

All the best.