Thanks TeenTitan,
Yes I have tried most everything (listed below). The only thing I don't have is a proxy server. Is it required when using ARD 3.8 and all the clients are on the same subnet?
On interesting thing is that the new El Capitan server with ARD 3.8 can control and wake the iMacs still running Snow leopard, so I assume the server end is okay. Also the new server can can fully control the upgraded El Capitan computers (I've tried 4 so far) via OD, Server 5 Profile Manager, and ARD 3.8 but not wake them.
So far I have:
-reset Pram, Nvram multiple times,
-Inactivate and reactivate network access with the Gui in system preferences, with the Unix command in ARD, and also via Profile manager in Server 5.
-Disabled the firewall
-manually configured Static IP's (all are on the same subnet)
The thing these computers have in common are that they are all (mid 2007) vintage, and I'm wondering if 'Wake for network access" does not work on them in El Capitan. I have some newer ones (2010) in a lab that is being used right now, so I think as soon as this summer session ends, I will upgrade one to see how it behaves.
However, if a proxy server is required with El Capitan, then I guess that would be it, but it seems odd Apple would require a home peripheral product and not have a server solution.
Onward through the fog.