Q: None of my Mac Utilities will Open; They try and say "App Store [etc] Quit Unexpectedly"

I'm running a MacBook Pro with plenty of space/memory/etc. Running El Capitan 10.11.15. The only things I've done differently in the last two days are: book up my photos app for the first time since the upgrade (it spent forever reorganizing my photos yesterday). Safari is the only app that words (other than my outside programs like Word/Etc.). I have not set up my Time Machine because I'm a moron. From Console, I think this is the root error (I gives this error every 10 secs or so, with crash reports every second). Please dear god in heaven help.

7/8/16 10:20:53.347 AM soagent[2471]: *** Terminating app due to uncaught exception 'NSInternalInconsistencyException', reason: 'Invalid parameter not satisfying: lockFilePath != nil'

*** First throw call stack:

(

  0   CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f6014f2 __exceptionPreprocess + 178

  1   libobjc.A.dylib                     0x000000010dbcf73c objc_exception_throw + 48

  2   CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f6061ca +[NSException raise:format:arguments:] + 106

  3   Foundation                          0x000000010d6cc856 -[NSAssertionHandler handleFailureInMethod:object:file:lineNumber:description:] + 198

  4   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf3aba -[ABProcessSharedLock initWithLockFilePath:localLock:fileServices:] + 167

  5   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf39b0 +[ABProcessSharedLock recursiveSharedLockWithLockFilePath:] + 97

  6   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf340f +[ABAddressBook initializeFileLock] + 84

  7   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf1f8c -[ABAddressBook nts_InitDefaultContactManager] + 153

  8   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf1eaa +[ABAddressBook nts_SharedAddressBook] + 72

  9   AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf1dce +[ABAddressBook nts_CreateSharedAddressBook] + 48

  10  AddressBook                         0x000000010fbf1c49 +[ABAddressBook sharedAddressBook] + 67

  11  IMCore                              0x000000010d4fb64c IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 180812

  12  IMCore                              0x000000010d4fb576 IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 180598

  13  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d40b _dispatch_client_callout + 8

  14  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d303 dispatch_once_f + 67

  15  IMCore                              0x000000010d4affa2 IMCore + 8098

  16  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e6d5e IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 96606

  17  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d40b _dispatch_client_callout + 8

  18  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d303 dispatch_once_f + 67

  19  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e60c2 IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 93378

  20  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e7a1d IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 99869

  21  IMCore                              0x000000010d4b09d4 IMCore + 10708

  22  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e9f3a IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 109370

  23  CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f571382 ___forwarding___ + 514

  24  CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f5710f8 _CF_forwarding_prep_0 + 120

  25  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e78e8 IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 99560

  26  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e7bd4 IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 100308

  27  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e7d92 IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 100754

  28  IMCore                              0x000000010d4e800a IMTranscriptChatItemEqual + 101386

  29  MessagesHelperKit                   0x000000010d5c88d9 MessagesHelperKit + 6361

  30  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d40b _dispatch_client_callout + 8

  31  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d303 dispatch_once_f + 67

  32  libobjc.A.dylib                     0x000000010dbc5390 _class_initialize + 706

  33  libobjc.A.dylib                     0x000000010dbc5123 _class_initialize + 85

  34  libobjc.A.dylib                     0x000000010dbc4c90 lookUpImpOrForward + 183

  35  libobjc.A.dylib                     0x000000010dbbe591 objc_msgSend + 209

  36  Foundation                          0x000000010d6040d0 -[NSBundle loadAndReturnError:] + 701

  37  MessagesHelperKit                   0x000000010d5caa94 MessagesHelperKit + 14996

  38  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011382893d _dispatch_call_block_and_release + 12

  39  libdispatch.dylib                   0x000000011381d40b _dispatch_client_callout + 8

  40  libdispatch.dylib                   0x0000000113830c1c _dispatch_main_queue_callback_4CF + 1685

  41  CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f5b69e9 __CFRUNLOOP_IS_SERVICING_THE_MAIN_DISPATCH_QUEUE__ + 9

  42  CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f5758dd __CFRunLoopRun + 1949

  43  CoreFoundation                      0x000000010f574ed8 CFRunLoopRunSpecific + 296

  44  Foundation                          0x000000010d5ffed9 -[NSRunLoop(NSRunLoop) runMode:beforeDate:] + 270

  45  Foundation                          0x000000010d5ffdb8 -[NSRunLoop(NSRunLoop) run] + 74

  46  soagent                             0x000000010d4a191a soagent + 6426

  47  libdyld.dylib                       0x00000001138765ad start + 1

  48  ???                                 0x0000000000000001 0x0 + 1

)