Q: i try to send a touch message to my wife's watch and it comes back as if i sent it to myself

Hi

For Digital Touch (and other services) to work correctly, you and your wife need to have separate Apple IDs and to be signed in accordingly on each of your devices.

Should you wish to share eligible past and future purchases, you can still do so via Family Sharing.

• http://www.apple.com/icloud/family-sharing/
• Set up Family Sharing - Apple Support

The following articles provide instructions for:

• Creating a new Apple ID:
  • Create and start using an Apple ID - Apple Support
  • https://appleid.apple.com/account

• How to use that new Apple ID on an iPhone:
  • Sign in with a different Apple ID on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch - Apple Support

The person who changes to a new Apple ID will also need to unpair their watch before signing into their iPhone with their new Apple ID - and then pair their watch again afterwards:

• Unpair your Apple Watch and iPhone - Apple Support
• Set up your Apple Watch - Apple Support

After having resolved the Apple ID issue, you should each also work through the following steps:

• In the Contacts app on your iPhone:
  • Check that there is a single contact card for your spouse and that it contains their iPhone number and their own Apple ID email address - and none of your own contact details.
  • Check that there is a separate, single contact card for you and that it contains your own Apple ID email address and your iPhone number - and none of your spouse's contact details.
• On your iPhone, go to: Settings > Mail, Contacts, Calendars > in the Contacts section, check that My Info is using your contact card.
• On your iPhone, go to: Settings > General > Siri > My Info - check that your contact card is selected.
• Check that you have added your spouse to the Friends list on your Apple Watch using their contact card:
  • On your iPhone, in the Watch app: My Watch > Friends.
• Via a web browser, sign in to Manage Your Apple ID: https://appleid.apple.com/
  • In the Account section, under Contactable At, check whether your spouse's iPhone number and/or email address(es) are listed - if they are, delete them.
• Delete old iMessage conversations with your spouse on each of your iPhone and Apple Watch:
  • iPhone: Messages app > swipe left on a message thread > delete.
  • Watch: open the Messages app (from the Home screen, which is accessed via single press on the Digital Crown) > swipe left on a message thread > tap on Trash / Delete.
• Set new Messages conversations to start from your iPhone's phone number:
  • iPhone: Settings > Messages > Send & Receive > scroll to Start New Conversations From > choose your iPhone phone number.
• Check the email addresses at which you can be reached via iMessage:
  • iPhone: Settings > Messages > Send & Receive > under You Can Be Reached by iMessage At > in addition to your iPhone number, enable (with a check mark) your Apple ID email address (do not enable any other email addresses that are not solely yours).
• On your iPhone in the Watch app: My Watch > General > Reset > tap once on Reset Sync Data:
  • You will not see anything happen after tapping it (the process will run in the background, invisibly to you).
  • Wait for a minute or so, to allow the process to complete.
• Disable and re-enable iMessage on your iPhone:
  • iPhone > Settings > iMessage > toggle off / on again.
• Restart both your iPhone and your watch (turn both off together, then restart your iPhone first):
  • To turn your watch off: press and hold the side button until you see the Power Off slider; drag it to turn off. To restart: press and hold the side button until you see the logo.

More information:

Use Digital Touch - Apple Support

You're welcome.