Q: i forgot password to apple id but it seems that recovery is impossible because email does not exis

See this -- If you forgot your Apple ID password - Apple Support, and if it still doesn't help, contact Apple Support (link at bottom of the page).

Ask Apple Support for help. If you neither have a working password nor a working recovery email, contact Apple Support

Use the contact address for your country from this page and explain that you have a problem with your account security, when you call:

Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security - Apple Support

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204169

What do you mean by "apple supported emmail thhat isn't real."

Change your Apple ID to an address that does exist?