After reading the last 5 pages the best solution I've come across is this Picky app.
It just officially replaced the music app for me.
I spent about an hour on the online chat support and even the apple tech couldn't solve the problem (and then reading over this forum I'd like rephrase to " was reluctant to admit that this was permanently built into the app and apple is just pretending like it isn't a huge issue for their customers"). I agree with everything that has been said: too clunky, waste of data, feels backwards, music I don't like shuffling though with everything else, etc.
Finally at the end of the thread: a solution! Ditch the Music app all together. Thought I'd check out Picky and after the amount of time I'd invested into this tonight $4 seemed worth it. Downloaded it, opened it and there it was! All the music I'd specifically choosen for my phone, in a clear interface that reminded me how easy it USED to be. I literally did nothing. It automatically knew what had been put on my device.
Sorry apple. This is a consumer society, and I vote with which products I use, your music app has been bumped from my dock.