Q: Upgrade?

You can upgrade RAM. See:

https://eshop.macsales.com/shop/memory/Apple_MacBook_MacBook_Pro/Upgrade/DDR3

But not install lighted KB

This is the Mac Pro desktop forum. I requested your post be moved to the MacBook Pro laptop forum.

According to Apple specs I have, that model should have a lighted keyboard.

Go to System Preferences > Keyboard and see what shows. On my Mid 2012 MBP running El Capitan it looks like this:

Try moving the slider to "never" or toggle the "Adjust keyboard in low light" option.

If none of that helps, try an SMC reset:

Reset the System Management Controller (SMC) on your Mac - Apple Support

Note in that article that one symptom of needing the reset is that keyboard backlighting works incorrectly.

What specific model 2009 MacBook Pro?

There is early 2009 and late 2009.

The mid 2009 15" has a lighted KB

MacBook Pro (15-inch, Mid 2009) and (15-inch, 2.53 GHz, Mid 2009) - Technical Specifications

Input

• Built-in full-size backlit keyboard with 78 (U.S.) or 79 (ISO) keys, including 12 function keys and 4 arrow keys (inverted “T” arrangement)

The late 2009 13 inch does not

MacBook (13-inch, Late 2009) - Technical Specifications

Input

• Built-in full-size keyboard with 78 (U.S.) or 79 (ISO) keys, including 12 function keys and 4 arrow keys (inverted “T” arrangement)

If white (as compared with aluminum) you have a MacBook, not MacBook Pro.

You have a MacBook5.2 and those only support 6 GB of memory

https://eshop.macsales.com/shop/memory/Apple_MacBook/White/2.13GHz

No lighted KB