Hello and welcome to Apple Support Communities, Jcar1941.
If I’m understanding you correctly, your wife's iPhone does not show up as a device you can share with when you try to use AirDrop on your iPhone. AirDrop is such a convenient way to send content from one Apple device to another, so I can certainly understand reaching out for help when it's not working for you. You are in the right place to get this resolved!
If you haven't already, I do recommend taking a look at How to use AirDrop with your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch first. That support article outlines how to use AirDrop and tells you what's needed for both devices in order for AirDrop to work.
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my airdrop is not finding my wifes phone for sending a picture
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