Can't join family share

I have had an itunes account for years with ipphone 4. My wife had her own itunes acct. I switched to android years ago and my two boys used our iphone 4's on my account. I just put us all on new iphone 7's and want us all to share. I tried to start the sharing from my phone/account but I get an error telling me that I am already shared with my son's account. He didn't have an account. He was using mine. So I went to my wife's phone to setup child accounts for my boys And share her account. That all worked fine and they are all connected. So I had an invitation to share sent to my account from my wife's. I got the invitation but it won't let me join. Still says I am shared with my son's account. He never had an account. He does now and is shared with mom. I am not shared with him. Why can't I disconnect from my account??? I am the account holder. Also, in reading up on this and trying to find a solution, I read that even f we do get shared, my wife's content will get shared with me but not vice versa? WTH? My account is the one with all of the music. I was wanting to share my files with them. But I am stuck not being able to share with anyone. It's this kind of stuff that made me leave Apple and go Android. This should be fixable. I saw where I can only change sharing every 90 days. Well that should not be keeping me from joining my wife's account since I have not done anything to successfully join anyone's account. And now I can't share my my account with them for 90 days?? Why all the difficulty? I will not be able to share my account at all until I can figure out why my account is shared with a son's account he never had. I had to choose iphone 6s for my equipment from the drop down because there was no selection for iphone7 which is what I am using on all phones. I think this is strictly an issue with itunes accounts and not equipment.