Here's what resolved it for me. I was so lucky to get to a senior tech at Apple(care). He had me reset my new AE using Safari in iPhone instead of the Airport utility in Windows. Yes, I didn't know you could set up your router this way via iOS. He said doing it via Windows creates problems because the Airport utility for Win has not been updated for the newest Airport Extreme. It setup is at the bottom of Settings-Safari-Setup Airport Extreme.
Here were the detailed steps followed:
Reset the AE: Unplug the AE power, inset a paper clip in the hole next to power, keep pushing the clip in as power cord is reinserted and hold clip in place for about 10 seconds until the light glows. Open iPhone-Settings-Safari-Set Up Airport Extreme (at the bottom) and proceed to set up AE.
Apparently, the 2.4 and 5 G channels can be differentially affected by interference in dense wifi environments. Since I have a small apartment he suggested creating separate names for the 5G and 2.4G channels in iOS Airport and then to change the channel assignment from auto to manual, then assign specific channels to 5G and 2.4 G that minimize interference. 5G is for speed but not distance; 2.4 is slower but goes further. Set 2.4G to a low channel and 5G to a high channel. Set Auto to manual and assign a low channel to it. This will allow the 5G channel to be the main one and you can get fast throughput.
In iOS Airport :
open the AE icon
Advanced
Wi-Fi Settings -- rename the 5G channel as such if not already identifiable
Radio Channel -- set it to Manual
Open Radio Channel
Switch off Automatic Channel for 2.4 GHz Channel, open the (now Manual) 2.4 G Channel (touch it), change the channel to a low number like 2. open the 5G channel and set to high (like 11).
Done. Done. Done.
in iPhone, in Settings-Wifi the 5G channel now automatically is selected. Route speed (using the odd website at url speedof.me) registers 60+ now on 5G compared with 23 before these changes.
If the 2.4G channel is selected by default by iPhone, open it and select Forget this Network. Reportedly is doesn't blow anything away but just deselects that channel for the automatic wifi default. After "forgetting" the iOS now opens 5G by default and it is fast. The hardwired down speed using ATT's web test is 66 mps. The AE router speed is 60. Previously it was 23.
All of this probably is elementary to most readers of this forum. Moreover, if you have need for distance in your home then making the reassignments as above may not help because 5G doesn't go as far. The tech said most likely there is interference either from something in the apartment or the other dozen wifi networks in the building. So, FWIW I am thrilled to get this finally resolved and at the risk of insulting experienced forum members I am sharing with any of the less sophisticated users of this forum my findings. Any corrections or improvements welcome.