Daughter getting iPhone Messages I send my wife on iPhone

You need to alter the settings on each device. there is no need to turn them off all together.

In iMessge under "send and recieve" you can choose the numbers and email IDs that you allow. Same in FaceTime and Phone settings it is under "calls from other devices"

For photos, when sharing an iCloud account, there is syncing options called "photo stream" and "iCloud Photo Library". If you turn these off the photos will only be stored on the device natively. Go to setttings/iCloud/photos/turn off.

In response to "...when sharing an iCloud account,...", it should be emphasized that iCloud accounts are really not meant to be shared between users (between devices is OK). Yes, there are "workarounds" that can be used in some situations. But sooner or later sharing iCloud account will bite you (maybe with a future iOS upgrade). You can do almost anything you might want to by using Family Sharing instead (which is Apple's recommended way).

Family Sharing - Apple Support

Kort wrote:

Thanks Michael. I'm quite certain there used to be a plan for family members, but the implementation leaves a lot to be desired.

There has never been a family plan with iCloud. There is family sharing - http://www.apple.com/icloud/family-sharing/ but that works with each member still maintaining their private individual accounts.

Each iCloud account though has always been intended for use and ownership by a single user. For one thing it is tied to an AppleID, which is the key to the kingdom of all services available from Apple. Apple has never recommended anyone ever share their AppleID (Security and your Apple ID - Apple Support).

Family Sharingsounds like what you are looking for. This will give each person their own Apple ID for their device to make it their own, but will allow them access to apps that you have purchased. They won't have access to any of your other information, but they will be able to download apps that you have purchased and use it on their own devices. You don't want to allow them to access your Apple ID as this will allow them access to all your information including your pictures and will also cause your phone to forward messages to other devices that are tied to the same Apple ID which is most likely why your daughter is getting your messages.

Create her an Apple ID of her own, and then add her to your Family Sharing and she'll be able to get access to apps that you have purchased and be able to download them and if there is anything that she wants to purchase you can set it so she will have to get authorization before your card gets charged for any purchases she wants. This will keep all the rest of your information private. It will also allow you to share music, and there is even a family calendar so if one person adds an event on the calendar, it will update everyone that is on the Family Sharing group.

There is no such thing as a family iCloud plan. iCloud accounts are strictly single user accounts, not intended to be shared amongst people. Same thing goes for iMessage and FaceTime accounts. These are not shared account services and nothing about them is intended for multiple users.

Everyone should have their own private AppleID for use with iCloud, iMessage, FaceTime and the App, iBooks and iTunes stores. You use family sharing to share purchased content from the stores, and things like iCloud Photo sharing to share chosen photo's.

iCloud accounts are personal. The only "privacy breach" here is you giving your daughter access to your (or your wife's) account. If your daughter is under 13, then you must use Family Sharing to set up an account for her.

Family sharing would only be used if you had separate iCloud accounts and wanted to share purchases.

Currently right now you are all under one iCloud account and can share purchases without activating family sharing. If you alter the settings as I said before you will still be able to stay under one iCloud account

Apple explicitly recommends AGAINST sharing accounts. The settings exist for legitimate reasons for use by a single individual with multiple devices. Continuing to share an account will no nothing but lead to further problems.

It is a lot of information to decipher. Make an appointment at an Apple Store or contact support and they will go thru each setting and device and find what works for you. Download the New Apple Support app. It is the easiest way to get help!

With "workarounds", I used the caveats - "in some situations" and "sooner or later". Its your device, use it as you wish - just be aware. There are pros & cons to almost everything. For instance with separate iCloud accounts, everyone gets 5 GB of free storage. But then if you need more, every user has to purchase their own additional storage. The choice is yours.

If family sharing and separate Apple IDs is your best option here is how you set it up

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204976

There is no "privacy breach".

Stop sharing an iCloud account among multiple people. Each person needs to have their own account.