how can I reset a password on an Ipad that belonged to a deceased family member?

If you’re referring to something other than the iPad’s passcode, it depends on what it is.

If you’re referring to the iPad’s passcode, click here and follow the instructions. Unless it’s a first generation regular iPad, you may encounter an activation lock screen while doing this; if so, you’ll need to take it, its purchase receipt, the owner’s death certificate, and proof that you’re its legal owner to a physical Apple Store.

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The Apple ID and password cannot be changed without the permission of the previous owner, however, if you take the iPad to an Apple Store with a copy of the death certificate, they may help you change the Apple ID but no guarantee. It's up to the store manager.