Hey there, runnergirlkat.
After reviewing your post, it appears that you'd like to enable Siri on your iPhone, but the setting is missing. I'm happy to help.
iOS - Feature Availability -- Make sure you're in a country where Siri is available.
Set Restrictions - iPhone User Guide -- Go to Settings > General > Restrictions and make sure "Siri & Dictation" is turned on.
Let me know how that goes and take care!