The "wizard" will provide you with the correct setup.....which is not extend the network. Extend the network is used only if the AirPort Extreme is connecting to another Apple router using a wireless connection. You are using Ethernet. It is possible that the prior instructions from LaPastenague confused you.
Please follow these instructions carefully in the order in which they appear:
Make sure that the Ethernet cable connects from a LAN <--> Ethernet port on the Arris modem/router to the WAN "O" port on the AirPort Extreme.
Power up the AirPort Extreme if it is not already on and let it run a minute or two.
Hold in the reset button on the back of the AirPort Extreme (it is located just to the right of the power socket) for 7-8 seconds, then release the button and allow a full minute for the AirPort Extreme to restart to a slow, blinking amber light status.

Click the WiFi menu at the top of the Mac's screen and a screen similar to the illustration below will appear
Click directly on AirPort Extreme

That will get the setup wizard up and running. It will take a few seconds to display a screen that is similar to the illustration below, except that you will see a picture of the AriPort Extreme.
Note that the AirPort Extreme will be configured to "create a network". This is the correct setting when the AirPort connects to another device using an Ethernet cable connection.

Network Name.......Type in the exact same wireless network name that the Arris is using
Base Station Name.....Type in a name that you want to call the AirPort Extreme. AirPort Extreme is an example
Password.....Type in the exact wireless password that the Arris is using
Verify......Type in the same password again to confirm
Click Next
The wizard will set up everything for you automatically. When you see the message of Setup Complete, click Done. And now you are done.
The Ethernet cable from the Arris to the AirPort must remain permanently connected at all times, as I previously noted.