Can't install virtualbox remotely

After over 30 hours of work, I have finally succeeded in upgrading my remote (colocated) Mac OS X 10.10 server to macos High Sierra with server. I had to go from 10.10 to 10.12, update the server data, and then do a fresh install of 10.13 and then import the server (and user and other) data from the 10.12 drive, because the RAID wouldn't work and 10.10 can't upgrade directly to 10.13 and and AND AND AND. Remote installs are a NIGHTMARE.

But it finally works, and is on 10.13. However, what doesn't work now is running VirtualBox. I was told (by a bunch of little popups) when I was moving the data over that virtualbox wouldn't work because the kexts were no longer allowed. So I tried reinstalling it, but it appears that allowing kexts isn't possible remotely. The button just clicks, but nothing happens. I gather this is a security 'feature'; well, fine. I found spctl kext-consent but that doesn't appear to work when booted normally either, even though with root privs I could reformat the entire hard drive or install all sorts of fun spyware.

Is there literally nothing I can do? I depend on virtualbox to run several virtual environments that, you know, are the entire reason I have a remote server in the first place.